Laugh or Cry

There is Good News and There is Really Inconvenient News

2011-04-19T10:06:00.007-05:00

Hello friends in the blogging world. I am back at it again! Since my last post several months ago, our family has experienced some great normal-ness. What a delight! Lots of carting kids around, camping, homework, school events, holidays, sports, etc. etc. etc. It's all really really good. Our family seems to do pretty well with the re-establishment once our deployment has ended. I've been working hard trying to get back into the working world as a Medical Transcription Editor and have been working on a training program since last fall. Our soldier changed jobs upon arriving home and has been working full-time for the National Guard in a temporary assignment that will take him through this July.

"Well, what's he going to do after July?", you ask? Well, let me explain. Some time toward the end of his deployment last summer, my soldier asked me if he should apply to this thing that military types call "War College". War College... such a curious term. I think it is poorly named since in "War College" their focus is strategies to learn NOT to go to war. But anyway, I digress.... There are two options for War College: Distance learning, which is done from home and takes about 2 years, and residential school, which is like going away to college for a school year (except without all of the partying.)

He asked if he should apply because it is really the next step in advancing his military career. My answer? Of course he should! And since only a few National Guardsmen in the whole wide country are actually placed in the residential school, I expected him to be accepted into the distance learning program, to work a 9 - 5 job as a civilian during the day and to work like a dog during his free time at home while I periodically sent the kids to him for their much-needed "Daddy stern look" and an occasional lecture to keep them doing exactly as I ask (ha). And he would put it all on hold for a few minutes every night to help me wrestle our youngest sleep-intolerant child into bed and to help me pick up after them before bed and to help with the occasional 5th-grade homework that is over my head and to help drive them to school and all of their activities. Right? RIGHT??

I'm sure you can predict the outcome here. Because I'm not married to just any ol' soldier. I'm married to a really good one who apparently has lots of respect out there. So, my soldier has been selected to attend the residential War College in Carlisle, PA starting this July. All kidding aside, we are so proud of him. Really. It's very nice to go to any military gathering and see the respect he has from so many. That makes me proud. And this is an opportunity for him to improve himself with full focus (while not being shot at or, worse, put into the middle of an argument between our kids!)

On the other hand: HOLY S--- !! I've got to do this single parent thing again?!? It's okay. Really. The kids are older, I have a slew of people I can pawn them off on if I ever feel homicidal, and we'll still get to see our soldier about once a month. And I've discovered that about halfway between Carlisle, PA and Nashville, TN is the SMOKIE MOUNTAINS! I see some great getaway weekends in our future.

So just pull out your trusty prayer beads, fellow bloggers, and put a good word in for us with the Big Guy every once in awhile. I will need lots of patience, a sense of humor, and tons of energy. So far I'm 1 for 3 but I'm working on the others. So for now we wait for our man to get his affairs together to head off to college... that still cracks me up to say I'm sending my 48-year-old husband to college (I know many women who would die to do the same but I'll actually miss my guy). And in the meantime, I am really getting a kick out of watching civilian folks' faces as I tell them we are sending him off to "War College". I really need to carry around a camera.

Enjoying Normal

2010-08-28T21:16:00.005-05:00

August 1, 2010. Our soldier is home!

Our Big Day Has Arrived

2010-07-31T13:53:00.002-05:00

It's amazing, but it's already time for our soldier to come home... 4 months early. What a gift and an answer to our prayers. Earlier this week he and his fellow soldiers arrived safely on U.S. soil and have been taking care of their redeployment processing at Camp Shelby in Hattiesburg, MS. It's just so nice to have him just a phone call or text or e-mail away and to know that I can reach him quickly if I need or want to. He sounds just great. And when I talk with him, I realize just how much I have missed his presence in the house. Tomorrow, the soldiers will arrive by bus at a nearby National Guard base and we will pick him up there and cover him with hugs and kisses. Thanks be to God.

The kids are vibrating with excitement and have so much excess energy. I am putting that energy to use and have made a list a mile long of things we want to get done before his arrival home. And we are all happily chipping away at this list today. I have been chuckling along the way about how quickly things can change without a man's presence in the house. Here are my top ten "must do" items to take care of before my man arrives back to the homestead:

1. Remove all pet hair from his pillow.
2. Make sure there is enough food in the house to feed a small country.
3. Retrain the dog and cat to know their place in the family. The gig is up.
4. Trim landscaping nicely and put potted plants everywhere possible to divert his attention from the patches of dead grass that I killed by not knowing how to take care of the lawn.
5. Find all of his tools that our 8-year-old son has been playing with and has left all over the yard.
6. Learn to cook again. Using meat.
7. Return all chick flicks to the video store and rent action-packed thrillers.
8. Clear a spot for him in the bathroom again.
9. Clear his spot in the master closet again.
10. Vacuum and fluff "his spot" on the sofa and place remote nearby. Clear myself a spot right next to his :)

Keep us all in your prayers for a happy and smooth reunion!

Winding Down

2010-07-22T11:28:00.002-05:00

Hi Blog friends!

I have to apologize for the length of time it has been since my last entry! School got out in May and -- POOF -- here I sit! Sit and add to my list of things I can carry in my back pocket and whip out when my kids come to me and say, "What are we doing today?"

I'm not sure when the memo was circulated but there MUST have been one that designated me as the Summertime Cruise Director and, for the first time in their lives, my children read it on their own and memorized it. And I am not well-suited for this role. I cannot "fake" being excited when describing how fun it is to use your imagination while playing with dirt. In other words, I've run out of things in my Cruise Director repertoire. Short of traveling, paying to send the kids somewhere for camps and swimming at the pool, ideas don't automatically come to me. Another reason I am not a teacher, I suppose.

Our summer started out strong. About a month of traveling happened right away. We took a trip to Fresno, CA to visit my one and only aunt and my only 3 cousins and their families. It was a great time with lots of laughs and, as if that wasn't great enough, we also took a jaunt south to the Los Angeles area to go to Disney Land for a few days. For those of you who have only "worshipped the mouse" at Disney World in Florida, let me tell you the benefit of Disney Land in California: DRY AIR. Wow, 90 degrees in Anaheim sure feels different than 90 degrees in Orlando. Other than that, it's very similar. But I loved the opportunity to be outside in summer weather without sweating. What a concept!!

After Fresno, we came home, turned a bit of laundry, repacked and then drove to see my parents and sister in Southwest Florida. Now THIS was not dry air -- very hot and humid and we spent many a day completely submerged in the pool or ocean. But we found ways to keep cool and spent some time with family.

Now we are home and I've signed the kids up for a couple of day camps but their boredom is setting in a bit and my full-time temporarily-single parenting skills are being put to the test. But I have my eye on the prize... word on the street has it that my soldier is due home very VERY soon. I don't have the exact date yet. They don't publicly share travel schedules in and out of "the zone" in order to protect the security of the troops but I do know that it will happen very soon. And once they are in a safe area, they will give us full details of their arrival.

Yes, this deployment is ending early. And we are excited. This deployment has simply flown by. I know this is because I have such great friends and neighbors in my life that have helped to fill the void that remained when our soldier left. These great people have shown me such a beautiful side of humanity. I have some amazing "go to" people in my life that I know will be all ears or lend me a hand when I'm having a rough day. Many times just having them there to listen truly gives me the strength on those days to get up and start again. I don't know what I would do without these amazing people.

And I've also learned that our country is filled with patriots. Our soldiers should be proud to know there are so many people they are fighting for that truly appreciate them. It's easy to lose faith in this by watching the news or reading the paper. But it's the regular person on the street, at the church, at the school, at the store, at a friends house, etc. that I've run into over the past few months who go above and beyond to show me or to tell me just how much they appreciate my husband's work. I am touched and at the same time I swell with pride as I accept their thanks to him on his behalf.

I will be sure to post when I know the date of my soldier's return. Just know that it will be VERY soon.

And to leave you with another one of my life's "funnies"...

I was recently trying to get my morning dose of caffeine when my 8 1/2 year old son comes to me and says, "Mom, did you know that the cat can hold his breath for 10 seconds?" You would have all been so proud of my lack-luster reaction, "Well, no, I did NOT know that the cat can hold his breath for 10 seconds. And where IS the cat, could you please tell me, precious child?" You'll be happy to know that the cat is alive and well and, although I was unable to glean the full story out of my little man, I have instructed him to never test "in any way whatsoever" the cat's ability to breathe - or not breathe, as the case may be -- EVER AGAIN. God give me just a bit more strenghth to make it -- along with both kids and the pets -- until my soldier returns home.

It Can Always Be Worse

2010-05-15T11:12:00.007-05:00

I've spent the last few months feeling like I have been in "survival mode" ... our family has been separated by a deployment, the kids go in and out of phases of "running amuck" and I have many times felt tired and wondered if we would ever find our normal again. But, oh have I been blind. No matter how terrible things may seem, it could always be worse.

On May 2nd, after getting 16 inches of rain in less than 2 days, our community experienced the worst disaster in our area since the Civil War was fought here. Floods. We live near a river that was 40 feet above flood stage. Another river in our community was 52 feet about flood stage. I've heard it called "the 500-year flood". I've heard people call this the worst non-hurricane flooding in American history. Houses completely submerged underwater in all parts of our city. Our winding scenic rivers that make our city a beautiful place to call home became class-5 raging rapids in a matter of a few hours. People who had their homes near the river saw their homes wash away. Literally, in some instances. Family members are still missing for some of these people while others have been found dead. Pets are missing. Everything is gone in many areas. People by the rivers were flooded, people who were not by the rivers were flooded, people who seemed to live high on a grassy knoll were flooded. Most are uninsured for floods. These areas are not on flood plains. In fact, most areas have never been recorded to have flooded. Flood insurance was either unavailable or so costly it was unaffordable.

Although I don't personally know anyone who lost life in this disaster, something I can not even fathom, I have spoken to and helped people dig out of the mud and water, gut their homes and sort through muddy clothing, family photos and belongings to see what can be saved. The faces of the people affected are distinct. Many would think that it's "just stuff" that they are losing, which is true, but for many they have lost their sense of security. It's the surroundings we all take advantage of that give us comfort. It's that place we escape to to refresh when we feel on edge.

Thankfully, our family was spared. But that doesn't mean we are not affected. I have spent the last two weeks with an overwhelming sense of guilt. How can I live in a community called "Riverwalk" just one block from the river and have come through this disaster without even water in our crawl space? Why did the people in our neighborhood who live just one block away from us to the north, east and south lose the entire first floor of their homes? It hurts deeply to drive past these homes to get to my home and see the entire contents of my neighbor's belongings strewn on their front lawns.

This is an intersection down the street from us. Check out the "mud line" on the trees above the street sign.

So I guess our current norm is the shell-shocked look on my neighbors' faces. The norm is the sound helicopters flying over us for aerial shots of our distruction. The American Red Cross trucks driving up and down our streets. Seeing police patrol cars patroling everywhere, missing pet posters, the sound of large trucks hauling debris, mud, mud and more mud. And being moved to tears just about every time I drive my car and look around me.

I know we'll recover. And I know our community is strong. I've been moved by how quickly total strangers dropped everything to help their neighbors dig out of this mess we've been left with. I've heard few reports of people misbehaving and taking advantage. Mostly, we have all come together.

A large dose of perspective for us. I no longer have tolerance for complacency and complaining about petty things. I know we will slowly return to our normal spoiled-rotten selves as we recover but for now... I will continue to play the "flood card" I have put into play so often over the past 2 weeks by saying, "There people living one block from us who lost everything and would be happy to [insert statement here]. (i.e., pick up their toys, wear the old uniform to school, eat cottage cheese and peaches for breakfast, pull weeds, go to bed at 7pm, eat cauliflower, clean their toes, WHATEVER.) I've become intolerant mommy. I know the kids are hoping for a quick recovery.

So when I overhear my 10-year-old daughter singing a line from that extra-tacky song by Kesha..., "brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack 'cuz when I leave for the night I ain't coming back...", I remind myself that, while that probably isn't a good song for our Catholic school girl to be singing, maybe this song will be good advertising for the Jack Daniels Distillary, just a few miles down the road. I'm just not going to freak out about it. I'll tell her to quit it, remind her that the people who live a block from us would relish in the chance to sing a tacky song, and then remember it could always be so so much worse.

Hitting Our Stride

2010-04-21T18:13:00.003-05:00

It has been a while since I last posted. I've been busy obsessing over things in the household and finally soaking up some sunshine and spring breezes while enjoying the sheer pleasure of being able to cross some major items off the ol' "to do" list. So what if a handy man took care of some of the items? I still get to cross them off. And it still counts.

Some other things that have made me smile lately are seeing the sun for something like 14 days in a row, witnessing my son's first communion and knowing he truly "gets" the meaning (WOW!!), and finally seeing my diet start to work for me. If I could jump and click my heels together, I'd be doing it right now. Maybe a few more pounds first... wouldn't want to break a hip or anything.

I think we have finally hit our stride. Nothing like a few days in a row of things going our way to help that along. It has been a difficult ride to learn to temporarily be both mom and dad to the kids but I think I'm managing pretty well, with the help of many MANY friends and neighbors. And PRAYER.

But with things starting to even out for us, we are all feeling the absence of our beloved soldier. And we worry about him. Worry about his safety, worry about his health, worry that he's not taking care of himself. We talk to him on Skype pretty regularly -- at least once a week -- and this is wonderful. But we still miss him. And, oh, the worry. I'm not typically a worrier so this is foreign to me. I can see how paralyzing it could be for people who are worriers. Honestly? I just try not to think too much.

A couple of really cute and funny things to share that came out of the mouths of my babes lately (because since I don't have a job or get out much, they are my main form of entertainment)....

As I was working on the website for the kids' school for an upcoming fundraiser, my kids were watching an episode of their beloved American Idol one evening as I worked and listened with them. My almost-ten-year-old daughter asked what I was doing and I showed her the site I was working on. She said, "Wow, mom. I can't believe you have time to do all that and still raise us." FUNNY. She is pretty smart. I thought about this for a minute and realized that this was actually her way of hinting for me to get the heck off the computer and give her some face time before she grows up and leaves. And knowing her, she is probably researching colleges right now.

A few days later, my son had his first reconciliation (first confession) in preparation for his first communion. He attends a Catholic school so his whole class prepares together. But we missed first reconciliation with the class when we were in Mississippi saying farewell to our soldier. My son had his first reconciliation with our priest by private appointment. For most adults, the idea of this can make one weak in the knees. But our little man was non-chalant and unflappable. We kept asking, "Are you nervous? Do you know what you're going to say? Are you nervous? There's no reason to be nervous. Are you nervous?" while his teacher taught about God's forgiveness and how wonderful that is and how great it would feel. Like a well-prepared professional, he marched to the reconciliation room with the priest and came strolling out a few minutes later with his hands in his pockets looking relaxed like he had just taken a leisurely stroll and had time to reflect about life. I asked him, "So, how was it?" and he whispered, "It was pretty stupid." My initial thought was to send him back. My friend reassured me that it was better for him have a pure soul than a pure mouth. I later realized, of COURSE it seemed stupid to him. We adults made such a huge deal out of it that he probably expected a flash of light, angels to appear and to hear the hallelujah choir! First Communion was this past Sunday and it was beautiful. He looked like a little man. A little reverent man. It was a very proud moment for me. And I know, although his choice of words can be a bit too honest at times, he really "gets" it.

Anyway, enough funny stories about my kids, even though I am certain they are the cutest on the planet. You'll all be happy to know that I will be getting out for some fun with friends without kids this weekend. Much looking forward to it and most past due! Keep the prayers going for us, they have helped immensely!

So What's the Funniest Thing...?

2010-03-10T18:20:00.006-06:00

This is something I sometimes say to the kids at dinnertime: "So what's the funniest thing that happened to you today?" This question serves many purposes. First, it engages my kids and helps me feel connected with them in their daily lives. I used to ask what they learned but found that they didn't really WANT to admit to learning anything and our conversations would quickly taper off. They definitely want to share funny things with me and this makes for some great dinner conversations. Second, I like funny. I want to hear funny stories. And it's my goal to help my kids to develop a healthy sense of humor and learn to enjoy themselves. Third, since my kids know that I will probably ask this question, they sometimes spend their days looking for funny things. Can there be a better way to enjoy life? Looking for the funny as our days progress? Yes, serious has its place and we also teach that. But I think the world is wound too tight sometimes and we just need to relax.

So, that brings me to this blog today. I've been in a rut. Cloudy days, grouchy kids, messy house, LAUNDRY, and taxiing the kids from here to the end of the earth. Repeat. I have decided that on occasion, it would help ME to lighten up by listing some moments I thought were funny. I'm not calling it a "Top Ten List" because that would make me remember ten things and sometimes my brain just isn't capable. And I'm not calling it a "weekly" or "daily" list because that wreaks of commitment and, as a person who is in recovery from saying "yes" too much, I refuse to commit to anything until further notice. I will call it "my periodic list of things that I thought were funny." I know, I know... literary genius. I realize that most of you are racing to the phone to brag about my creativity to friends right now. But just wait, here's my list first. After you read it you will probably realize that just I need to get out of the house (or car) more often and you'll feel sorry for me. But if you still think I'm a genius, I'll be happy to do this for someone for pay. Lots of pay. But, remember, no commitments.

My Periodic List of Things I Thought Were Funny

1. While walking my meek dog by the river earlier this week, he wandered to the bank to quietly lap up some refreshing river water. As he drank, I watched him slowly sink into the squishy river mud along the bank. He sank all the way up to his haunches until he looked like a scared legless dog laying on the side of the river. All I could do was point and laugh. And thank him for that priceless image he put in my head that keeps returning whether I want it to or not. Yes, I rescued him. And had to bathe him too. It was worth it. And, unfortunately, he is afraid of the river now.

2. After reading my last post, I was talking on the phone with my parents and they said they could tell I was down in the dumps. True. My mom, probably not wanting to use the word "depressed" because of all of the negative feelings that label could bring, said she didn't like hearing that I had "down symptoms". I thought she said "Downs Syndrome". Oh, what an interesting conversation that followed. And for a millisecond, I actually thought I had finally found all of the answers to those burning questions I have had about myself and why I think like I do.

3. Today I got delayed at the post office bulk mail office sending off some things for a committee I chair for the kids' school. The line was very long and it took much longer than normal. This left me in a bind and I found myself running late to pick up my kids from school. So, I grabbed my phone and called my friend and "go to" person whose kids to to the same school. I left her voice mail asking her to please pick up my kids when she picks up hers. I then checked my messages and listened to a message from her asking me to pick up her kids because she too was delayed in another part of town. Needless to say, I raced back to school. I didn't realize a minivan could go that fast. For those of you in Nashville... I made it from Donelson to Sylvan Park in TWELVE MINUTES. Nascar, here I come. And my kids have no idea... no idea at how qualified I am to drive a race car or how closely they came to being abandoned at school today.

4. The other day I pulled some pants fresh out of the warmth of the dryer for my son to wear to school. When he started putting them on he began a conversation with himself about why he thought the legs were already cold but the top of the pants around the pockets was still warm. Then he surmised that it was because the legs were "skinny" and the top was "fat" with lots of fabric around the pockets. Then he said, "kind of like me and you, mom... I'm skinny so I'm cold first and you're..." "OK, STOP," I said. "I get it." And his total lack of any clue at how badly he slammed his "fluffy" mom kept me laughing. And still laughing. This is why I love 8-year-old boys.

You may not be rolling on the floor laughing ... neither was I. But it's moments like these that make me remember to take a step back and not take things so seriously. In the future, I'll list more of these moments... periodically. Until then, remember to look for the funny in your days!

Our New Normal

2010-03-07T11:00:00.003-06:00

I haven't written much lately, mostly because it's more of the same. We are finding our new normal. Most days seem like that movie "Groundhog Day" to me right now. Each day is a repeat of the last. I guess structure is good. It helps us all adjust to our new normal. But it is also pretty boring sometimes and can give us time to think about how much we miss our soldier coming and going like we are used to seeing. I guess I need a balance of structure and non structure for life to be "perfect". Too much of either one can turn me into a crazy person... and I'm finding that the crazy person can sometimes be just under the surface. Call me Jekyll and Hyde Mommy.

Right now, our Groundhog days begin with me dragging the kids out of bed -- sometimes literally -- threaten them with a variety of consequences that they don't seem to care about so they will get ready for school and into the car. Next, I drive that lovely drive to school. This is sarcasm... Tennessee has had the grayest coldest weather this year and it is getting to be depressing! Sunshine is all I need. And, thank God I'm seeing it this weekend. I think it has given me the energy to sit and blog this today. Our mornings usually bring out the worst in my little guy. By the time we get in the car, he has either lost every privilege until the end of time or I have, once again, freaked him out by getting in the car with his sister (who at this point of the morning routine is afraid to even talk to me) and started to drive away without him in an effort to get him to HURRY. It works because he usually comes running to the car with his shoes in his hand and missing various school items, which makes him shriek with delight about having to return to the house to retreive these items (sarcasm again.) But at least he's HURRYING. The drive to school has been a slice of heaven (sarcasm) with me usually having to ban them from even a sideways glance at each other in the car on the way there because they want nothing but to express their deepest disdain for each other by that time. Screech into the school parking lot almost on two wheels so they aren't late ... kiss kiss, have a great day, see ya. Then I blink my eyes...oh, possibly 3 times and it's time to pick them up and start that blissful homework time of day (you guessed it - sarcasm).

You can't tell by the previous paragraph that I am typically a pretty positive person. It has just been a tough few weeks of adjustment. I realize that my son is acting out because he doesn't know how to express his feelings yet and this is his only way. I realize my daughter suffers from the angst of her brother... he gets all of the attention when he is like this and it is primarily negative. For this reason, we are getting through the hard stuff and I am taking some extra individual snuggle time at bedtime with them right after our family bedtime prayers, which always leave me on the edge of tears. I love this time with my kids. Pre-deployment, I would be rushing through this time so I can spend time the my man. But I've found this great alternative in his absence. The kids are sleepy, they are not being asked to do anything except lay there and be loved, they are not competing with one another ... with the exception of the occasional yell from the other room, "MOM -- are you going to snuggle with ME TOO?!?" I think it is these moments that fuel us all. Thank you, God, for providing me with this balance.

Another enormous silver lining is the incredible support I get from friends and neighbors, church, and the kids school community. I have so many people that just stop me and ask how we're doing. Sounds like a small gesture but it's not. To me, it's a reminder of their support and that they care about us! What a gift! We are being provided meals twice a week (a huge support on crazy school nights!!), offers for free babysitting, I'm getting invited to girls' nights out (woo hoo!), and I even have opportunities for girls' weekend getaways with friends while other friends offer to do weekend babysitting for me. It is a great reminder of God's love and support to see him act through all of these great "givers" in my life right now. It's weird to say, but it "does my heart good" to endure this deployment just to get a glimpse of how God moves people to give of themselves. It's that great human spirit that fills my cup.

So, onward and upward to my "Groundhog Days" of our new normal. We're surviving! And we're looking forward to spring break soon.

Beyond the Hard Part

2010-02-08T08:34:00.003-06:00

What a week. We just returned from the mobilization site of our soldier and his troops this past weekend and I feel all of my emotions sitting just below the surface. I feel like I will cry at Kodak commercials, laugh too hard at things that aren't that funny or bubble into a rage at something I usually tolerate. Just plain emotional.

We started our week out on a high note -- a family vacation to the Gulf Coast with our soldier on his 4-day pass. This led up to the send-off ceremonies for the 3000+ soldiers heading to the middle east. And then to our "big goodbye", the hard part. We had a great time soaking up those precious hours together... much of it spent eating the things our soldier wanted to eat before he leaves (and watching him continue to eat.) I know we all came home a couple of pounds heavier. And, knowing him, he lost weight (how does he DO that?!?)

I think it's amazing how things never play out as we plan. This week I received a dose of perspective that reminded me to never -- NEVER -- take anything for granted. As our family was enjoying our last few hours together before we say goodbye, my soldier received news that one of his men suffered from an attack of some unknown medical condition during his 4-day pass with his family which left him brain dead. His family was faced with the unimaginable -- deciding when to allow him to cross into his new life with God. On Thursday, the day before the troop send-off ceremonies, they said their final goodbyes to their soldier. Forever.

I have never met this family or this soldier. I don't know what they look like, I don't know anything about them. But I do know that I ended the week with a whole different perspective than I anticipated. I mourn for this family I don't even know and I am left wondering why God sent for this fine man when he did. I also am reminded that life is precious, regardless of what it brings. I can certainly put up with a few months without my soldier. I can put up with doing "it all" while he is away. I have nothing to complain about. Nothing at all.

Our final goodbye took place Friday afternoon, after the send-off ceremonies and then lunch at a restaurant close to base. We almost made a clean escape without many tears until my daughter, Dasha, had her turn with hugs and tears which turned into sobbing. It truly broke my heart to watch my little daddy's-girl say goodbye to him. I remember when I was nine and how slowly time seemed to pass and I know she must be thinking it will seem like forever before she gets to jump into his arms again. But I also think she is mature enough to know that we are all so fortunate to have that moment of his return to look forward to. We will all keep our eye to that moment in the future.

Our guy will fly out to his new temporary home in the very near future. I don't know exactly when that will be (he could tell me but he'd have to kill me -- ha ha)but I await that final call on my cell phone or quick text message letting me know that he is on the plane and they are getting ready to take off. Or, as he puts it, just before they are in the air and "wheels up".

I know we'll be just fine. We've done it before, we can do it again. We'll miss him terribly but we will keep our eye on the prize -- his return home and finding our "real" normal once again.

Blogging = Therapy

2010-01-28T11:51:00.002-06:00

Wow! Has it really been 3 weeks since I last blogged? Well, so much for my new years resolution to blog regularly. I am here today writing because I NEED THIS TODAY. This is my therapy. Somehow writing out my thoughts helps me reconcile all of my mixed-up feelings and know what to do next.

I actually needed to blog sooner than today so I officially reached that "crazy mom" status this morning. I dropped off the kids at school this morning with them exiting the car and looking at me like a swat team hostage negotiator looks at their subject. They knew not to push me another inch.

What, you ask, is happening in my life? Well, I have three words: naughty little boy. I'm not sure what happened but it seems that someone sneaked into our house sometime Sunday night and flipped the "mouthiness" switch on my son. He woke up Monday morning mad at the world, set in his ways, crazy, unable to focus for a millisecond and as mouthy as any 8-year-old can be. I remember telling his sister, "Just don't look at him, talk to him or touch him and he'll be fine." Of course, I was wrong. So, all of our attitudes have declined this week. We have progressively gone downhill from as-normal-as-we-can-possibly-be-under-our-circumstances family to where we all need some time alone in a padded room... away from each other.

I think the culprit might be school work. My son just doesn't like to do it. Period. And this semester of 2nd grade is proving to be much harder for him than first semester. 2-digit addition, having to "carry" a number, cursive, fractions, etc. Who am I kidding -- it's challenging me too!! But, his being an 8-year-old and it being January... it's school time. It's the law (as I tell him all the time so he quits blaming me for it.) He is an extremely smart kid. I fear he might be smarter than the rest of us. Combined. On one hand, that scares me to death because he is also very impulsive and, well, EIGHT. But on the other hand, it makes me swell with pride because I know he will find his niche some day and support himself (and move out before he turns 30 so we can enter the next phase of our lives...QUIET.)

Let me give you an example of homework with my boy for the last 3 nights:

ME: "OK, you didn't do your classwork today at school so it looks like we have 4 worksheets to do tonight."

PRECIOUS BOY: "WHAT? THAT IS SO STUPID. I HATE WORKSHEETS."

ME: "OK, let's calm down and work through them one sheet at a time. I will sit with you and help."

ANGEL CHILD: "Can I have a snack?"

ME: "Yes, of course. How about graham crackers? Apple slices? A banana? Cheese and crackers, peanut butter and crackers?

SWEET BOY: "YUCK. I hate all of that. Can I have candy?"

ME: "No"

DARLING CHILD OF MINE: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! THAT'S WHY I CAN'T STAND EATING FOOD"

ME: "Fine, how about some sugary sweet chocolate milk with one of the snacks I mentioned"

ANGEL BOY: nods

ME: "OK, now we have a snack, let's start our work. Hey... where did you go?"

PRECIOUS CHILD: Yells from upstairs "I'm in my room playing with legos"

ME: "Please come back downstairs. You have homework."

AMAZING LITTLE SWEET BOY: stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp.... "this is stupid"

**phone rings, precious child runs out the back door playing with the dog.**

ME: "Come back in this house and do your homework with me."

ANGELIC CHILD: "Do I have homework?"

ME: "Or would you like me to beat you in the yard for all the neighbors to see instead?"

PRECIOUS BOY: "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" Stomp stomp stomp stomp inside.

ME: "OK, lets do our first worksheet."

SWEET SON: "I don't know how"

ME: "I'll help"

WONDERFUL BOY: "My pencil lead broke"

ME: "Get up from that seat and I'll tear your legs off... here is another pencil."

AMAZING CHILD: "I spilled my milk."

ME: "Of course you did. Let me set this worksheet in the dish strainer to dry while the dog cleans up your milk and we'll work at the dining room table on the other worksheets."

... and so on. I'll just say that by the time we got to the last worksheet, it was dry.

One time I saw a t-shirt in a catalog that struck my "funny bone" and still keeps me laughing when I think about it. My son is so lucky they didn't make it in children's sizes, which is probably because twisted parents like me would actually buy it for my kids to wear. It said, "They say I have ADHD but they just don't understand... hey, look! A chicken!"

So I'm wrapping up my week of homework hell and trudging through our morning battles of getting ready for school so that we can finally take our trip to Mississippi to see our soldier off to the middle east. It's all worth it. I may have dark circles under my eyes and will be lucky to have the motivation to pack what we need for a few days of R & R at the Mississippi coast. But we'll get a break, we'll get to have our family together for a few days and we'll get to witness military tradition at it's finest for their send-off ceremony.

It has been about 18 months since we learned of his upcoming deployment. It seems like 4 or 5 years. It has been slow in arriving and we're just ready to get the deployment clock started. I figure each passing minute gets us closer to normal again. In the meantime, I'm hoping to find a more normal temporary normal until that time arrives.

Whew -- blogging is definitely therapy. I feel better now.

"Just Wait Until Your Father Gets Home, Young Man!"

2010-01-05T11:13:00.004-06:00

Just another popular phrase in my house that has been removed from my repertoire for awhile since it is not likely to be very effective when followed by, "later this year." So I guess I've lost part of my "mom arsenal". Not that either of the children have ANY fear of their father anyway... when he sees them, he melts into a puddle on the floor, hands over his wallet, takes them wherever they want to go and hangs on their every word. They just adore him. But it's just something about that statement that seems to work and no one has ever asked me what exactly will happen when said father gets home. I just found it funny this morning when I almost used this standard phrase and had to quickly gobble my words and think of something else that left my kids looking at me like I had once agan lost my mind.

It's been a couple of weeks since I last blogged and lots has happened although I remember little of it. School got out, shop shop shop, wrap wrap wrap, our soldier arrived home, deck the halls, cook cook cook, lots of family and laughing -- whoosh it's over. But I know I was there... I've seen pictures and I look happy in them. What I clearly remember is being glad that this was a Christmas just like any other because my soldier was home for all of it and we carried on with our great family Christmas traditions. I know it was bittersweet for all of us but we take comfort in anything normal these days. Thank you to the big army planners out there who made sure the soldiers had time off at Christmas to be home with family for this deployment. I know morale must be higher because of it. It definitely is for our family unit.

And my heart swells when I think about all of the churches and groups that helped raise tens of thousands of dollars to bring so many soldiers home from their mobilization site free of charge. Financial concerns have no place among soldiers who are preparing to enter a combat zone and I know this helped ease that burden to many of them. What a blessing to have so many generous souls out there helping soldiers they don't even know. God is truly smiling on each one of them, I am sure of that.

Our soldier left home last Monday, the 28th, to go back to his mobilization site here in the U.S. We will get to see him one more time when we travel to join him for a few days of R & R before the send-off ceremony. Again, this wasn't supposed to be a tearful day since we have one more visit before our big goodbye. But it did bring me some misty eyes to see him all packed up that morning taking a tearful last look around the house before breathing a deep breath and getting in the car. It made me realize a bit more about what he must be feeling by losing all of his creature comforts of home for a year. I'm trying my best to appreciate the things I love about home. I think I owe that to all of the soldiers who are away from home... not taking any of what I have for granted.

The day he left was covered by our local news and our family was featured. Another gift... the kids got to have the excitement and pride in seeing themselves and their dad and other soldiers on TV when we got home instead of focusing on his absence. Here is the link if you would like to view it as well:

http://www.wkrn.com/global/Category.asp?c=175880&clipId=4417205&topVideoCatNo=126088&autoStart=true

So, on to my normal routine that has arrived once again along with new resolutions for the new year. Yes, keeping up with this blog is one of my resolutions. Unfortunately, the rest of the list is familiar.

"Put down the gun and please zip your zipper..."

2009-12-15T08:46:00.002-06:00

I know the title of this edition has you questioning my sanity. Let me explain... these are actually the words that came out of my mouth this morning -- repeatedly -- as part of the morning routine getting the kids dressed, fed and ready for school. You see, our dear son has the focus abilities of a gnat most mornings and gets off course easily. Usually he finds a way to lose focus on the task at hand by visiting his toybox before coming downstairs for breakfast. This morning, he arrived at the table armed for combat but not quite dressed for success. Mornings are crazed in our household.

Usually after dropping the kids off at school and kissing their sweet cheeks goodbye for the day, I have a feeling of relief wash over me as I think about all of the things that will actually be finished by the time I pick them up from school in the afternoon. I envision them getting in the car with thier little brains bulging with new knowledge and then all of us arriving home to a house that sparkles and smells of a nutritious meal ready to be pulled out of the oven at the exact time they finish their homework and say "Mom, when's dinner?" But that vision is usually just a flash when I realize that kind of fantasyland doesn't exist. Life is just messy. Crazed and messy.

I had originally scheduled my nervous breakdown for today... 10 days before Christmas is usually when it hits me that the logistics of getting it all done before Christmas just can't be worked out. This year it is even worse with our soldier being off to training until the 22nd. Not that he's ever set foot inside a retail establishment of any sort at this time of year... it's just that he's usually here to occupy my mess-makers, help with the day-to-day of thier lives and to help with housework so I can unravel on my own and not worry about whether the house will be clean when they come to carry me off to the asylum. But this year, I'm feeling a strange calm. Probably because I can't possibly do it all and I know it. And I'm having foreign thoughts like, "Sure it would be OK to just stick a bow on the shipping box and stick it under the tree." And, "Who cares if all the lights on the top of the tree stopped working...it still looks pretty enough." But these things just really make sense to me this year. Life is messy and it just makes sense to let go of a few things. I mean, who really cares besides me anyway?!? Let's just say I've had an adjustment in my perspective.

So, as I sit here typing this, I have a 2000-piece mailing for the kids school that needs to be sorted and mailed, I have most of our gifts to wrap, all of our clean laundry is being stored in the dryer and the kitchen would make my mother question how she raised me. But, who cares? It's Christmastime. My parents are on their way here for an extended Christmas visit, the kids are almost on Christmas break and my soldier will be home for Christmas very soon. God is good.

Federal Orders, Day 3... And I'm Still Standin'

2009-12-07T17:09:00.002-06:00

Historically, this past Saturday should have been the "big day" of tearful goodbyes with our soldier. He mobilized to Mississippi and began his 2-month training which will lead up to his deployment. His federal orders began on Saturday, which is usually when families kiss the soldiers goodbye and make a big deal of their departure.

But, being the vastly experienced veteran military wife that I am (FYI - this status means NOTHING in most social circles), I am keenly aware that we should not focus on the status of the new orders and make a big deal about it just because the papers indicate we should. It just means that they are mobilizing to Mississippi where they will train for awhile, get a few days off to come home for Christmas, train some more and then get to see their families again before deployment. Federal orders? Phooey. Owned by the U.S. Commander in Chief? Whatever.

What really counts is keeping our sanity while they are still partially here. What I've learned about our military is that they prefer the long and drawn out ceremonial approach to most things. And, don't get me wrong, I love the ceremonies. There's nothing like being there to experience the U.S. Army tradition at it's finest. What I think is painful to endure is "long and drawn-out" part. And the changes. Oh, those last-minute schedule changes. At least, that's the way I see it from my perch here as a full time mom and military wife. I'm still waiting for them to ask my opinion so that I can let them know how to do things more quickly and efficiently but they must have lost my number.

When my soldier deployed to Afghanistan in 2003, we had three -- count 'em -- THREE tearful goodbyes. They kept meeting with delays and then would invite the families to come to the training site for just "one more visit". There was a last-minute opportunity for a 4th which we decided against. I was emotionally raw and it was almost a relief to know that they had finally boarded that plane to head to the middle east. Seems strange but it was enough to send even the most psychologically stable of us through months of therapy.

So we decided a few weeks ago that we wouldn't do that this time. We don't need it and the kids don't need it. We're saving our final goodbyes for that last visit we'll have before he actually boards the airplane to fly overseas. We're keeping it simple.

So, here I sit on a strangely normal Monday evening obsessing over the little details of a school night ... wondering whether the kids are doing thier homework, trying to find the clean school clothes for tomorrow, planning that Christmas shopping list, and wondering what wine would best complement my Lean Cuisine dinner. And my soldier is on federal orders.

I am Thankful

2009-11-27T16:11:00.002-06:00

I think it's amazing that in the hustle and bustle of modern life we have this time of year called Thanksgiving when -- after dinner is cooked, of course -- everything comes to a screeching halt and we all make time just to be with each other, to be thankful for what we have, to be mindful of those people who don't "have". Just to be. What a gift from God. This quiet time with my family fills my cup to the top and refreshes me through to the end of the year every year. This Thankgiving I am most thankful that our soldier is home.

Yesterday we ate ourselves silly at my in-law's house. What a wonderful day. Lots of food, laughter, a good after-dinner walk, lots of football and a 1-billion-piece puzzle worked from start to finish. Today we have spent the day putting up our Christmas decorations both inside and outside and still have a few things left to do but lack the energy to do it until later.

I thought I would compile a list of things I am thankful for. As I strung the lights and unpacked the cute Christmas things for around the house, many many things came to mind.

I am thankful to God for...

- My husband and children.
- My freedom.
- My extended family.
- The memory of extended family members who are no longer with us.
- My network of amazing friends.
- My church.
- My health.
- Christmas traditions and recipes that have been passed down through the years.
- The wonderful school my kids attend and the amazing faculty who obviously care deeply for them.
- The music of the holidays.
- The chance to experience the music of the holidays at its best when my kids sing it.
- My home.
- The sound of my daughter pecking out Christmas carols on the piano.
- My sweet dog and cat, even when they stare at me and beg for things.
- Giving me the right frame of mind to WATCH QUIETLY while my kids "help" decorate for Christmas.
- The sound of my son singing to himself as he strings twinkle lights in his room.
- Keeping me busy at home on Black Friday.
- Online shopping.
- Naps.
- The joy I feel when I plug in the strands of lights that DID light up and the fortitude to go to the store on Black Friday to replace the ones that didn't.
- Pumpkin pie.
- Leftover turkey sandwiches
- Stretchy pants.
- Prelit trees even when patches of lights burn out.
- Kids' hand made ornaments.
- My fireplace.
- My great husband who can fight wars AND think it's funny to drive around town in a minivan with antlers and a big red nose.
- Seeing Christmas through the eyes of my kids.
- Hot chocolate.
- My husband, the king of all household exterior holiday illumination.
- Pretty wired ribbon.
- Christmas movies that bring our family together to laugh and cry... like Christmas Vacation, It's a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, A Christmas Carol, Elf, and more.

My list could go on. I love this time of year and what it does to my soul. I love the feeling of being thankful for what I have. I am blessed!

Hypersensitivity

2009-11-23T19:34:00.004-06:00

I think when we are under stress, we become hypersensitive to everything around us. At least that's my theory. As a friend used to say, it's as if "all of our nerves are sticking out." Things bother us more. Mountains get made out of mole hills. We just seem to lose our capability to cope with the little things that we usually handle just fine. We become hypersensitive.

I started thinking about this when I was driving the kids to school the other day and, for the third time this month, was stopped in the middle of the road by a very confused wild turkey. This was on a very urban street. He stood on the yellow line in the road and pecked madly at cars as they passed. I wondered why he was doing that. Is it mating season and he's wildly trying to find his mate? Or is it because his relatives are all being killed and eaten in mass quantity on Thursday? Just made me think. Twilight Zone? Probably not. Stress? Definitely. And since it was just a turkey, it was definitely funny.

Then over the weekend, I still had thoughts of that funny turkey in my mind as I noticed my family, including myself, all acting outside our norm. We were hypersensitive. As I went into an unusual cleaning frenzy on Saturday barking out orders to the kids like a drill seargent, I noticed that the toilet in the kids' bathroom was STILL making that drip drip drip noise in the tank. MUST STOP THE DRIP. Without pause, I pulled off the lid to the tank and plunged my hand in and started fiddling furiously with the mechanism to get the drip drip drip to stop. At the same time, my husband started looking through keepsake boxes with our son and daughter and pouring over memories of when the kids were babies. And later in the day, my son decided that he was tired of that foster holly tree by the garage (he calls it the "pokey tree" because the leaves are prickly and poke him when he touches it.) While we were inside obsessing over things around the house, he grabbed the hedge clippers and started cutting down our tree limb by limb. Luckily a neighbor rang our doorbell and alerted us to the "landscaping" that was occurring out front. But he was so intent on getting that "pokey" tree out of yard that we had to physically pull him away from the tree to get him to stop cutting.

Yes, I successfully repaired the toilet (don't ask me how!) Yes, my husband's trip down memory lane gave him time to relax. Yes, the tree is still standing (but sure looks funny!) I think these are all signs that we are under a wee bit of stress. And realizing this gives me pause, makes me take step back and realize that this behavior is not the norm for us. And it gives me a chance to laugh a little. At the turkey, at my obsessive toilet repair session, at my super-sentimental husband and at my new little landscaper. I think I'll remember to laugh a little all season because I think everyone is under a little bit of stress and probably deserves a break. And if you're reading this and claim that you don't feel any stress in this day and age I think you might be lying.

Lord of the Flies

2009-11-15T08:19:00.004-06:00

Remember Lord of the Flies? Power struggles. Chaos. That seems to be what our household turns into at about week 2 after our soldier leaves. I guess on some level I understand because they, too, are noticing their daddy's absence. But what boggles my mind is the complete astonishment on their faces when they are told that all household rules have not been abandoned. With the man of our house coming and going on his trips to train and prep for deployment, we at the homestead get to live through this pure joy of adjustment each time he leaves and comes home. On the positive side, the dinners I cook are reduced to kid fare and I'm not having to plan that far ahead. Also, the laundry load is lighter. But I keep checking the mirror to make sure I don't have "sucker" tatooed on my forehead because I swear the kids must think I will cave to their ideas of how to run the household.

So, for the benefit of all of us I am going to list a few refreshers here today. If necessary, I will print this and staple it to their precious ittle foreheads. :)

1) Bedtime still applies. Period.

2) No, you still can not eat candy for breakfast. Don't unleash your premeditated plan on me and try to wear me out at night so I'll sleep in the next day and allow you to pack in the simple sugars from 6am until I arise.

3) No, I will not buy you more candy.

4) It doesn't matter what comes out of my mouth. Your response should always be "yes, ma'am". For example, if I say "Please take a bath" your response should be "yes, ma'am". You should not bring out your charts showing the frequency of your baths since birth. I do realize that once you went for 4 days without bathing but, hey, mommy was tired.

5) Arguing will get you nowhere. Except you will probably have the image of my screaming pulsating face burned in your repressed memories somewhere and may require a "tune up" with a therapist someday. No, I will not pay for said therapist.

6) For the love of all that is sacred, please leave each other alone! Do not mock each other, touch each other, steal from each other or make faces at each other. In fact, I think it would be best if you never looked, touched or talked to each other ever again. I just want quiet.

7) Remember that I'm not the one who makes you go to school. It's the law. I can give you the number of the appropriate government official to call if you want to complain. In the meantime, let's work on peace at harmony at home. Imagine that if it wasn't for this law I would let you stay at home all day, I'd buy you a pony and fill the kitchen with cotton candy.

8) Stop being so stunned when I ask you to pick up after yourself. I didn't throw the legos, dirty clothes and trash all over the house. I'll let you know when I have my breakdown and am the one to make this mess and I will be happy to pick it all up when it's my mess.

9) Yes, you must eat the green food on the plate. It's good for you. You've seen it and eaten it before and you are still alive to complain about it. I am not trying to kill you with it. Other children eat it and are alive to commiserate with you. Just eat it!

10) I don't care who sat in that seat last time. I don't care whose turn it is to feed the dog. I don't care who had to take the trash out last time. You will make good lawyers some day and I am going to start researching law school for both of you. But, please please please just do what I ask. Remember... "yes, ma'am".

Love and kisses,
Mommy

The Human Spirit

2009-11-07T14:38:00.003-06:00

It's wonderful how God keeps us all aware of his presence by showing us the human spirit. During times like this, when our family is preparing for our soldier's 1-year deployment, I should want to wilt into a puddle and hope it all passes quickly. But I am experiencing with this deployment the same uplifting spirit from those around me that I experienced last time. I wish I had a dollar for every person who has offered our family help with anything at anytime. And these are not just passing offers as friendly gestures but they are hold-me-by-the-shoulders-and-look-me-square-in-the-eyes offers followed by the statement, "And I really mean it. Any time." It summons up that too-familiar lump in my throat to be reminded just how many selfless people surround us in our everyday lives. Some are close friends, some are just acquaintences. I see Christ in everyone around me lately.

My soldier experienced the most amazing random and anonymous act of kindness the other day. While he was getting his car serviced and his tires rotated, he ran into a friend in the waiting area. They briefly talked about his upcoming deployment and his friend wished him well and went on his way. Another man had been sitting in the waiting area and didn't comment and continued to wait in silence with my soldier. When it was time for this man to leave, he stood up, shook my soldier's hand and thanked him for his service. In his hand was a $100 bill. My soldier tried to refuse, but this man insisted that he give it to our family so that we can go out to dinner "on him" before the deployment. And then this anonymous patriot paid for his car and left. My soldier stood stupified in the waiting area and when car was ready, he went to pay for his car. The owner of the shop gave him a free tire rotation as a thank you gift as well. The human spirit. Neither of these men had anything to gain from these acts. This is what is so uplifting to me. Selfless human spirit.

We will be going out to dinner and taking advantage of our anonymous donor very soon with our spirits lifted. I think our Christ-like donor would feel good knowing that his gesture has moved us deeply and warmed our souls. This spirit will carry us far. And we take great comfort knowing that we have so many to lean on if we ever need it on this journey.

P.S. For those of you located in Nashville, TN, I would like to provide a "plug" for the place my soldier had his car serviced that day in case you would like to frequent a business owned by an American patriot: It is called Kwik Kar and it is located on Charlotte Pike in West Nashville near Wal Mart.

I am Woman

2009-11-04T16:32:00.003-06:00

One of the really interesting things that seems to happen when our soldiers deploy is something my friend calls "the deployment gremlins". I have never seen one of these but I am certain they exist. And they are mean and nasty and want nothing more than to break us and make us feel weak. They come and attack all household appliances, trip the children causing injuries and plant germs in our house to make sure to cause chaos when our soldier is gone. These nasty little creatures are very tuned in to our current psychological well-being and make sure they attack when we feel the most vulnerable.

Here are some examples of some shenanigans they pulled on me during the last deployment of 10 months:

- 27 sick visits to the pediatrician with my son. Strep (or as I called it, "strepetitious"). Ear infections. Flu. Bronchitis. Unidentified viral infections. And on and on. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had contracted bubonic plague.

- A new furnace was suddenly needed on the coldest day of January ever known to man.

- When aforementioned new furnace was brought to be installed, the old duct work disintegrated and turned to dust requiring all new duct work too. I think I wrote a check for a bazillion dollars to the HVAC guy that day.

- 9pm on a Sunday during flu season... one of those pesky gremlins tripped Dasha and she landed face-first on the corner of the coffee table, requiring stitches. 6 hours of sitting in the ER during flu season gave us, well, THE FLU.

- 8 days in the house with my 3 year old daughter and and 2 year old son ... all of us with the flu. Isolated from the outside world with only an occasional drive-by front-porch drop-off of food by my in-laws. Can you say "lose touch with reality"?

- Fridge broke. When it was full, of course. We ate like royalty and then went fridge shopping. Me with two toddlers. Shopping for an appliance. And losing my mind.

- Somehow all of the brake fluid leaked out of the line in my van and left me without brakes. Luckily I noticed while traveling at a low speed. The mechanic said "squirrels" chewed through the line. We knew it was gremlins.

- Same "squirrels" chewed through my soldier's power line for the AC in his car. Squirrels... right.

I am ready for these pests this time and will not be over-run. This week I had the furnace serviced. I have been lurking with a flashlight looking for leaks behind the washer and under the sinks. I change the oil in my car regularly. My ears are tuned to any unusual creaks and pops I hear around the house. The tires on the car are new. I am armed with anti-bacterial hand gel, flu shots, Lysol and vitamins. I stand ready. Bring it on, annoying little beasts. I have tools, a handyman, a mechanic and a phone. I am woman.

They Come Home

2009-11-03T06:06:00.000-06:00

There is a wonderful family at our kids' karate studio that is also a Guard family living through deployment. However, they are at the end of theirs and dad just came home this past weekend after being gone for a year. Their four children and our two children have become friends over the past year at the studio. And I have become friends with the mom. How nice to have that common bond. Guard families are a bit unique. We are lurking among the regular families all over the place and are usually not living near army bases. It's nice to find another Guard family in the path of our everyday lives.

I am certain that this family was brought into our lives by the works of the Holy Spirit. Not just because they are a great family but because our kids have been able to experience their deployment in full before ours has even begun. Even though we've done this before, it has been 6 years and we are now in a different phase of our lives. And I'm sure our kids remember very little about the last deployment. What a nice way for us to be reminded of how a family can survive this -- with flying colors.

Dasha is our sensitive one who has felt this deployment coming up with her whole heart. And she was visibly excited to see this family's dad last night at karate with his family...home from Iraq and looking great. I know this gives her peace amid all of the crazy things about war that she sees out there. They come home.

Welcome!

2009-10-30T15:36:00.000-05:00

Here I sit with my husband and kids in the house and we are all occupied doing our own things. This is a very rare moment for us lately. My husband has a full-time job and we are typically the "normal family". But, as a soldier in the Army National Guard, he found out last year that he would be deploying again to the Middle East. This will be his second deployment. He has been on full-time orders since April as part of the pre-mobilization team to prep for this deployment and his travel schedule has been brutal, especially this fall. He is doing some work from home today preparing to mobilize in about 5 weeks to Mississippi with his battallion of almost 1000 soldiers. After a few weeks in Mississippi, they will deploy to Iraq. Our family countdown has begun.

It has been said that journaling is therapeutic and good for the soul. But since I haven't picked up a pen for anything more than signing my name to checks or homework since 1994, I thought I had better find a better venue. I'm calling this blog "Laugh or Cry" because I say that often to friends, usually when my kids have done something unspeakable. With my soldier prepping to leave us for a year, "laugh or cry" has become a mantra for me lately. Laugh or cry. I usually choose the former. I find it is much more fun and most people run toward you rather than away from you when you do it. And humor is more "me". I love good humor and think if we all try hard enough, there is good humor all around us every day. Laugh or cry.

I am a full-time mom of two great kids. We adopted both of our kids from Russia. We brought our daughter home in 2000 and we brought our son home in 2003. I could go on all day about that... perhaps another day (or another blog). But here we are. Our daughter is 9 1/2 years old. She's not a typical girl, I don't think. She hates pink, loves all sports, is a natural athlete, is quite stubborn and can't stand the girl drama she sees brewing up among other girls in her 4th-grade class. Our son is 8. He is of small stature but, as we always say, he is small but mighty. He is a natural comedian, is smarter than most people (but struggles in school anyway), is extremely silly and energetic and feels deeply. He is always at 100% whether he is playing, laughing, crying, or sleeping. In our house, he is the source of most of our drama and is the cause for much of the laughter. I have said before that when we prayed for selflessness, we were blessed with our daughter and given many opportunities to learn to be selfless. When we prayed for patience, we were blessed with our son and given many opportunities to learn to be patient.

That's all for my first post. I guess I'm officially a blogger now. Wow, I don't feel that much different!